Howdy Bonnie!

Howdy Bonnie!

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Howdy Bonnie!
Howdy Bonnie!
no cowboy could ever achieve this in my heart
Diary

no cowboy could ever achieve this in my heart

"you'd have to stop the world, just to stop the feeling" - chappell roan

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Bonnie Orbison
Jul 07, 2024
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Howdy Bonnie!
Howdy Bonnie!
no cowboy could ever achieve this in my heart
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“My queerness is not a question. It is inherent. There is no choice to make or point to prove. We do not ask the ocean for proof of her depth. Fluidity was never something to be measured.”

- Haley Jakobson

diary entry from november 2022:

“ {…} yesterday I went to the Tate here in Liverpool. I walked along the aisles of exhibitions with soundscapes and projectors that showed art that replaced the sun with a peach + the general holy journey of creativity’s process. Saw a Picasso in person (pretty impressive). After some trotting around, I overheard sounds coming from two speakers in a corner, hidden away. No one stepped into the little nook of sound waves but my curiosity entered the little booth. On the screen, a short clip of art. A 1-minute clip of cars driving on an autobahn. I sat on that little chair for fifteen minutes minimum. I was perplexed, I was speechless, I was astonished. After five minutes, I started to cry. Slow crying. The crying where your tears are slowly moving out of the eyes unto your cheeks. Believe me, I thought I’d go to the Tate and cry over some very beautifully painted flowers and there I was crying over cars. {..} This trip leaves me confused and safe.”

Feeling confused and safe left my first solo trip to England at age 18. I felt so young, so small and so big at times. Concert venues, trains, and cinema screens became my home. Confused and safe sounds quite similar to how I felt the very first time I watched Basic Instinct, realised there might be someone hotter than my 40-something Harrison-Selleck-esque celebrity crush, maybe a complete other world I would be able to live, love in at age 15.

@b0nl8ve on Landing

48 days ago (May 23, 2024), I sat down to write a silly little diary entry again. This blog felt abandoned from my presence, so obligated I started putting my fingers onto the keyboard and what I started to write more and more turned into this holy script of my “sacred” sexuality.

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