haunting you with my writing & being haunted by drowning nostalgia
hope vs. expectations
January 24, 2025 at 1.15pm, home:
Howdy!! Bonnie here - I’ve been traveling these past four months and although I’ve been writing a lot, I needed time to document and process everything by myself for a while. Very proud to say though, the time has come for me to share my writing and my unhinged diary entries again.
This one was written from a deep reflective moment and almost an actual time travel to places and feelings in the past. There’s a lot coming up the surface once you allow yourself to trace back steps and repeat them as a new version of yourself, one that wouldn’t exist without the original memories in the first place. Also this week, I talked to about this: sometimes it takes time and a complete ended relationship to write about a previous one. This is the sort of entry about exactly that. Enjoy :)
written on january 8, 2025 at 10.23am
I’m currently on the train towards Glasgow, having experienced the most nostalgic ten days in a while, the intensity i’m speaking of. i knew coming from america, spending the holidays at home to immediately going back to england to spend time with people that i sincerely love and care for would be a journey. what i didn’t expect was the wave of a crash that swept me under about a week ago. i was out with Tyler and Issy in this little town i thought i never visited before. the way we came in wasn’t the one that was the push, rather a tiny alley up the road with bookstores and cafes that i noticed i was swimming in a very stormy sea.
over a year ago, i was in the exact same spot, having barely slept. maybe an hour nap on the 3am train from glasgow to london. issy dreadfully made sure i was sitting in that cafe, ordering eggs benedict for me. i’ve been eating eggs benedict in transformative moments since then. they signify this to me. all from that morning, or was it the afternoon already?